Mugger's Notebook V2

h@y
19
Occupation: Part time Mugger

First Post:26/03/2005
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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Heart to heart talk
Here's a message to those who had the heart to heart talk with me today. Thankyou so much for being so straight and I really appreciated that cuz it's much better than keeping eveything inside and letting the matter get worse.( Lik Jev..during our little miscommunication last year). Anyway, being quite a sinner, I'm really sorry if my actions had made you guys unhappy with me. And I'd really hope we could put our grudges behind and work together. ( sounds wrong...I'm the sinner remember?) Haha! Ok...cheers! =)
Ego
This term was a total stranger to me when I first heard it from Ms Nah during the CE perios back in 2004. and i only got to briefly inderstand what it is some time ago while talking to some counselors.
Here's how wikipedia explains the word:
Ego
In Freud's theory, the ego mediates among the id, the super-ego and the external world. Its task is to find a balance between primitive drives, morals, and reality while satisfying the id and superego. Its main concern is with the individual's safety and allows some of the id's desires to be expressed, but only when consequences of these actions are marginal. Ego defense mechanisms are often used by the ego when id behaviour conflicts with reality and either society's morals, norms, and taboos or the individual's expectations as a result of the internalization of these morals, norms, and taboos.
Although in his early writings Freud equated the ego with the sense of self, he later began to portray it more as a set of psychic functions such as reality-testing, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory. The word ego is taken directly from Latin where it is the nominative of the first person singular personal pronoun and is translated as "I myself" to express emphasis. Ego is the English translation for Freud's German term "Das Ich."
In modern-day society, ego has many meanings. It could mean one’s self-esteem; an inflated sense of self-worth; or in philosophical terms, one’s self. However, according to the psychologist Sigmund Freud, the ego is the part of the mind which contains the consciousness. Originally, Freud had associated the word ego to meaning a sense of self; however, he later revised it to mean a set of psychic functions such as judgement, tolerance, reality-testing, control, planning, memory, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory.
In a diagram of the ‘Structural and Topographical Models of Mind’, the ego is depicted to be half in the consciousness, while a quarter is in the preconscious and the other quarter lies in the unconscious.
The ego is the mediator between the id and the superego; trying to ensure that the need of both the id and the ego are met. It is said to operate on a reality principle, meaning it deals with the id and the superego; allowing them to express their desires, drives and morals in realistic and socially appropriate ways. It is said that the ego stand for reason and caution, developing with age. Sigmund Freud had used an analogy which likened the ego to a rider and a horse; the id being the rider while the ego being the horse. The horse provides the energy and the means of obtaining the energy and information need, while the rider ultimately controls the direction it wants to go. However, due to unfavorable conditions, sometimes the horse makes its own decisions over the rocky terrain.
When the ego is personified, it is like a slave to three harsh masters: the id, the super-ego and the external world. It has to do its best to suit all three, thus is constantly feeling hemmed by the danger of causing discontent on two other sides. It is said however, that the ego seems to be more loyal to the id, preferring to gloss over the finer details of reality to minimize conflicts with the pretending to have a regard for reality. But the super-ego is constantly watching every one of the egos’ moves and punishes it with feelings of guilt, anxiety and inferiority. To overcome this, this ego employs method of defense-mechanism. Denial, displacement, intellectualization, fantasy, compensation, projection, rationalization, reaction formation, regression, repression and sublimation were the defense mechanisms Freud identified. However, his daughter Anna Freud clarified and identified the concepts of: undoing, suppression, dissociation, idealization, identification, introjection, inversion, somatization, splitting and substitution
Courtesy of Wikipedia.

Personally, it's quite true that I tend to be quite egoistic. Or should I say, I'm quite egoistice to some extent. Living in a life of competition porbably gave me a sense of drive to overcome the people around me. Most probably it was extrememly strong when I first came to Singapore in P6 when I was a total dumbass...My posting to my Sec1 class in TK probably helped enhace this. There was this paticular person who used to tease me for my wierd English accents...lols..( i have yet to master Singlish last time..haha!) So I felt that I should prove him wrong and trash him someday. Which did not materialize cuz he's really smart. And I did'nt really liked him anyway. I ended up quarreling him over...(mens stuff) ("nan ren bu shi wei le qian jiu shi wei le nu ren" =men work because they want money or women) So you'd probably know why I ended hating him. haha! =)

Ok..back to main topic...so some how, I felt a strong sense of threat that my pride was at risk. And so I started with this theory that success is defined by how high you climb be it academic or socially...Guess this was how I started having this mentality...
Now, my greatest fear is to get retained in MJ. And the fact that everyone's working so hard is scaring me...lols..( ok...better not think too much...later I go "zuan niu jiao jian" = think too much then die liao...)

So...in conclusion?

Hmms...interesting reflection...I probably found out what I need to work on myself in the next few months( besides mugging)...finally got through the tip of the iceburg...got somemore to go la...anyway, tommorow got geog test so I won't think too much..Mug hard people!

And before I go...

Ben and Jerry's had their FREE ICE-CREAM Day today! And I can tell you...The ice-cream rocks! A great bargain when you don't need to pay a cent! We're a bunch of LPG(Lao Pok Gai= Broke) people you know..haha!

Labels: Ben and Jerry's, ego, heart 2 heart tlak

7:44 PM